Stress

Everybody feels stressed.

Everybody is going to feel stressed forever.

A quick Google search revealed that anywhere from 55-76% of the population (western countries) are stressed out.

Stress is part of nature and human life, you can’t avoid it.

A lot of people feel overwhelmed by the stressors (= a thing/person/event causing stress) they face.

You might be one of them.

You might not be and have already cultivated a better relationship with stress.

In either case, know that chronic (long-term) stress will:

• decrease your productivity

• affect your mental health negatively, leading you to fall into bad habits

• impair immune system function and detriment your physical health

• lower your quality of life overall

Most people know they are stressed. They can feel the negative effects.

Most people even know what causes their stress.

The problem: Most people still don’t do anything about it.

They hope it will go away on its own.

That one day when [insert stressor] is over/dealt with, they will be able to relax again.

Either that day never comes, or people immediately get attached to a new stressor.

There are two reasons why people don’t work on stress:

1. Lack of information: People don’t know about the possibility to reduce stress

2. Lack of trust: People don’t try certain techniques and tips because of a lack of trust in them or their advocate

To get over both, effort is required, and we all know that people don’t like hard things.

If you’re reading this, you probably have enough humility to try the action steps I’m going to suggest.

Before I get into those, we have to clarify a few more things first.

What is stress?

Stress is a generalized system in your body that gets activated by

• physiological (think of a lion trying to eat you) or

• psychological (think of you speaking to your crush)

stressors.

It’s a system that mobilizes other systems in your brain and body.

For example, the acute stress response shuts down:

• the salivary glands (your throat gets dry)

• reproductive organs (that’s why stress can hinder performance in bed)

• digestive tract (normally uses a lot of energy, that you now might need for running)

Simultaneously, it fires up:

• your heart rate (to get your blood flowing)

• activation of leg muscles (again, you might have to run)

• adrenaline response (makes you agitated and want to move, either physically or verbally)

The stress response in your body has evolved over millions of years and isn’t suited for today’s way of life, where we very rarely have to start running away from stressors.

You could say the majority of the stress we experience is unnecessary.

The good thing?

Stress is a biological process.

It involves psychiatric aspects, sure, but the effects we notice are mostly physical, which in turn make us feel certain ways.

We can control biological processes by understanding how they work.

You might have heard of the terms:

• fight-or-flight mode

• rest-and-digest system

Without going into detail, these are pop-scientific terms used to describe the

• sympathetic branch of your nervous system (fight or flight)

• parasympathetic branch of your nervous system (rest and digest)

Imagine your nervous system leaning towards one or the other at every given time.

Like balancing them on a seesaw.

When you’re stressed, your fight-or-flight mode gets activated.

The nervous system seesaw tips in favor of the sympathetic nervous system.

Your body becomes activated.

To reduce stress, we have to find ways to activate the other branch of our nervous system, the rest-and-digest system.

We can do this in multiple ways, for example by slowing down our heart rates deliberately (more on that in a moment).

Types of Stress

There are different types of stress.

Not all are detrimental to our well-being, some stress is even crucial to keep us functioning normally.

The research behind stress categorizes it into the following ways.

Short-term Stress

Short-term stress is when your acute stress response gets activated.

That happens through temporary or surprising situations:

• you see a hungry lion running toward you

• doing anything under time or public pressure (exams, public speaking, job interviews, work under deadlines, etc.)

• situations you are scared of, because of trauma or negativity biases (talking to the other sex, driving a car, etc.)

Short-term stress is what you experience in the event itself.

That’s it.

That’s why it’s called short-term.

After the event passed, we can relax again, the stress has vanished.

In some instances, this is great.

A lot of people do well on tests because they’re stressed at that moment. I’m one of them, it makes me focus superbly.

Ever heard of smart drugs (Adderall, Ritalin)?

They’re supposed to boost memory, focus, and performance.

You don’t need them.

It gets your systems going like nothing else.

In other instances, for example, public speaking, it’s not that great.

Many people would be relieved if they could better manage their stress in various short-term stress situations, including public speaking.

The easiest way to do that is through the Physiological Sigh, as I mentioned above already.

Not surprisingly, it works by decreasing your heart rate.

Medium-term Stress

You have what is called a “stress threshold” inside of you.

Visualize it like a huge water dam, that keeps you mentally sane from all the stress you experience.

During short-term stress, the water behind your internal dam rises, but it’s a manageable problem.

The dam stays intact and you release the pressure by going through what caused the stress.

During medium-term stress, like:

• major life changes (relationship breakup, moving homes, quitting and rehiring for a job)

• the preparation for your final exams

• constant stress because of work

the pressure builds up over time.

Medium-term stress is when you’re at your limit, at your stress threshold for days or weeks.

These periods of extended stress happen.

They’re necessary to progress in life, they’re unavoidable, and we even choose to put them upon ourselves to propel forward.

Dealing with medium-term stress at times is fine.

It gets dangerous once it turns from medium-term to:

Long-term Stress

Long-term stress is where it gets bad.

Bad in the sense of unhealthy for your body, for your mental health, and probably for your relationships as well (as you become more and more toxic).

There are two major ways to determine if stress is becoming unhealthy for you:

• your HRV (heart rate variability, recovery metric) is chronically low = not good

• your sleep is chronically worse because of your stress levels

If you have a health tracker like an Oura-Ring, a Whoop-Strap, or something similar, you already know how important your HRV is.

For those of you who don’t, your perceived quality of sleep is the next best indicator.

It’s normal to catch a bad night’s sleep before a stressful event, don’t worry about that.

As soon as your sleep turns to shit over days and weeks, even though you’re keeping up the basics of:

• a regular sleep schedule

• no screens and large meals before bed

• cool sleeping environment

and so on, you have to do something.

You know how important your sleep is.

It’s the basis of your performance, there is nothing you should purposefully sacrifice it for.

Long-term stress is when your internal dam, your stress threshold, starts leaking and breaking apart.

Don’t let that happen.

Here comes how.

The 6 Action Steps To Reduce Stress

The following action steps are going to be useful for all kinds of stress.

Still, I sorted them from reducing stress instantly to reducing stress long-term, based on my opinion and experience.

One last thing.

There aren’t going to be tips on:

• sleeping longer

• eating better

• exercising more

Like, you know this stuff.

I don’t have to tell you that you have to get 8 hours of sleep or else your emotional capacities will be severely dysfunctional.

Maybe I should, but now it’s too late.

It sounds boring.

If you never tried it, open your mind, this stuff is life-changing.

Remember the Physiological Sigh from above?

I hope you tried it, if you didn’t, you can do it now.

It’s an example of a breathwork protocol.

How it works?

It activates the rest-and-digest system in your body.

With controlled breathing, you slow down your heart rate.

I have internalized performing the Physiological Sigh whenever I feel like I need a bit of stress relief.

I’d recommend you do the same.

The simple fact that you can influence your stress levels by breathing differently is reason enough.

There are a ton of other breathing protocols that can help you reduce your stress levels, including:

• box breathing

• cyclic sighing

• what I call “purposeful breathing”

Going over all of these will have to be the subject of yet another newsletter.

For now, stick with the physiological sigh.

And don’t sleep on the power of breathing.

A very simple tool, yet for most people, there is a lot of friction stepping outside their front door.

A simple walk for just a few minutes can change your emotional state drastically.

Why do walks help reduce your stress?

Simple.

We’re meant to live outside for most of the time.

We’re animals, but we cage ourselves into the confinements of our homes.

Walks offer:

• sunlight exposure (increases dopamine levels)

• experiencing nature (proven to reduce stress in itself)

• movement (you know that’s beneficial for everything)

• the absence of stressors (your phone, family members)

Even if you don’t live near a park or other green areas, getting some fresh air and seeing new environments will make you feel a lot more relaxed.

There are probably streets and buildings only two minutes away from your door that you’ve never seen before.

Be an explorer.

Explore your neighborhood with a sense of adventure.

And yes, you can and should do this without your phone.

You don’t need it, nor do you need music to accompany you.

When was the last time you went outside without earphones?

Try it out.

Do I even have to explain this?

Staring at your devices the whole day will result in stress.

Specifically: Phones.

More specifically, it’s because of the constant message bombarding that you face throughout the entire day.

I believe that if your phone has notifications enabled right now, you’re either retarded or you disrespect yourself massively.

Don’t be a slave to your phone, chasing the little dopamine spikes of receiving an Instagram notification.

Wondering why you feel so on edge all the time.

If you even implement one of the following action steps:

• turn off your phone notifications → put your phone on Do Not Disturb & airplane mode

• don’t use your phone in the first and last hour of your day at all

• set specific times every day to check and answer all messages

you’ll notice immediate benefits to your stress levels.

You’re not meant to be on your phone 24/7.

Or at all, for that matter.

Get a piece of paper or a physical notebook.

Write down whatever comes to your mind.

That’s journaling simplified.

There are no rules to journaling, you can do it however you want.

If you don’t know where to start, here are some prompts:

• What is currently stressing me?

• What am I overthinking about?

• Why am I feeling so overwhelmed?

If you’ve never journaled before, writing down your thoughts is going to feel weird.

It’s going to feel unnecessary.

You’re not very likely to do it in the first place.

This is your monkey brain, afraid of the things that you might have to confront.

Don’t listen to it.

Journaling is scientifically proven to be just as good, if not better at dealing with

• depression

• anxiety

• stress

than pharmaceutical drugs like SSRIs.

It’s better than anti-depressants, let that sink in.

I journal every day. The benefits include:

• extreme clarity of mind

• immediate stress-relief

• increased control over thoughts and emotions

You don’t have to do it every day.

You can use it as a tool to find out how you can deal with the stress you are experiencing or find its cause in the first place.

While simultaneously relieving your mind from the stress.

Remember the dam analogy (stress threshold) I mentioned?

Journaling is like opening the floodgates in a controlled, yet very effective way.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the 80/20 rule.

It says that there are around 20% of things in your life that cause 80% of the outcomes.

This rule can be used for your social contacts as well, positively and negatively.

Ask yourself this question:

Who are the 20% of people in my life that bring me the most joy?

These might be your:

• parents

• close friends

• or romantic partner

Spend more time with them.

It’s as simple as that.

These people act as “net-savers” for your energy.

They even give you energy.

Even if you feel like you have no one, you’re on X.

It’s a social media platform. Social.

You can ask people you connect with, who have similar interests to you, to hop on a quick call with you.

That’s how you make real friends online.

Just as there are people who give you energy, there are people who drain it.

These are called “taxing” people.

Now, ask yourself:

Who are the 20% of people who cause 80% of my stress?

Again, this could include anyone.

Spend less time with them.

Living at home and don’t have a good relationship with your parents?

I've been there.

And I’ve fixed it.

It won’t fix itself, take the responsibility to improve it gradually.

For me, the majority of my social stress used to come from my high school friends.

They wanted to go out, to parties and clubs, drink, and stay up as late as possible.

I felt like I was obligated to go with them.

In this case, I slowly distanced myself.

You can cut them off instantly, but I didn’t simply didn’t have the balls to do that, to be honest.

So from going out every week, I went to go out

• every two weeks

• every three weeks

• once a month

• once every two months

and then it stopped. They’re still out partying, while I’m in bed, ready to get up early the next day.

You could say I gradually ghosted them.

I don’t regret it.

I have to write a whole newsletter on this as well.

For now, I’ll keep it short.

Your purpose is your current mission that you’re on.

I believe you can have multiple purposes or goals to work on, which can be organized somewhere into the three areas of self-improvement:

• physical health

  → building your physique, improving in a certain sport, training for a marathon

• mind

  → improving creativity, building mindfulness, becoming better at writing

• other people

  → building finances (as it’s just influencing people), improving or starting relationships

How does it reduce stress?

Once you set clear-cut goals and have a purpose to work towards, it takes away the uncertainty in your life.

Uncertainty is probably the greatest stress-causing feeling that exists.

By clarifying your mission, you know exactly what you have to do every day.

If this concept of purpose still sounds vague to you, that’s fine.

This is advanced stuff, and if you’ve come this far, stick to the more practical tips above first.

Finding your purpose can wait for the next newsletter.

Thank you for reading!

By following these steps, I became a lot less stressed in my day-to-day life. I hope it helps you as well.

Until next week,

~ Improvement Wolf